mom's 50th birthday

i woke up last Saturday, February 17th, to the 50th birthday of my mom. i won't talk about the celebration but i want to discuss some thoughts that i had and maybe, you guys have felt or wondered about your parents as well. these questions are those i've been wondering about but never really asked.

*at 50, i know there are some things that she still would like to do, what are those things? (i am hoping that these are things that i can do for her)

* she has been living for 50 years and she spent half her life taking care of me and my siblings, does she have any regrets after all these years? (mind you, i was observing my mom through out that day, and i can tell she's thinking too, only am not too sure what she's thinking about)

*after being married for more than 20 years, does she still love my father? (my dad's 50th birthday will be on April, so my mom celebrated her's first. i will ask my father the same questions when his turn comes and some more...)

*did she keep special feelings for any man aside from my father before and/or during the marriage? (disclaimer: i have no proof of infidelities on both my parent's accounts, i'm really just curious! :D)

*did she ever feel that we loved her enough (worse, did she ever feel that we did not love her enough)?

*what specifically was she expecting in a daughter that she found in me (or did not find me)?

*was i worth the sacrifice of her career?

these are questions that i was afraid to ask last Saturday basically because i am still preparing myself for her possible responses. nevertheless, i know that i'll eventually gather enough courage and ask her probably... tonight. i'm just hoping that she would not feel as if she's on "The Buzz" hehe...